The Cancer Car

Borrowed a friend’s car today and got a little taste of what life used to be like.

The freedom of the road is unparalleled, this little bubble of metal on wheels gives you power and control over self and space to think.

Anyhow, it was just for a few hours but tasty.

The owner is a smoker so it was like driving an ashtray….my eyes, mouth and lungs were crying out for fresh air.

Amazing how smokers are immune to this side effect.  I think I murdered half my taste buds just by sitting in the Cancer Car.

120mg today

All of Life’s Problems

“To alcohol! The cause of… and solution to… all of life’s problems”

Matt Groening

Dad used to give me generous pocket money until he got me a job in Tesco in Baker’s Arms, Leyton, London at age 16.  I quickly fell in and out of debt but realised that no money meant no girls and no fun.

The cause of…and solution to my problems has always been money.

Obsessed with balancing the books

The biggest thing I worry about when it comes to money

Actually, it’s probably the fear of not having an income, I have been working for over 32 years straight.

I wish Subject H would take care of money for me

All my life I’ve wondered what a luxury it would be if another human being could take care of things for me like Dad did.  Just give me an allowance to spend as I like.  Unfortunately, no one like that exists in my life.

Whenever I think about money and finances, I feel

My situation awareness has always been pretty sharp, typically using accountant tools to create a balance sheet. I use it to avoid panic and sentimental ideas.

I’m on the defence right now so feel nervous and angry about my negative Net Worth.  I normally avoid risk but my warning, to those close to me, was ignored so now I find myself in exactly the position I was scared of.

The most expensive thing I want is

I think a new car is top of the list. Not sure what type or in which country.  Well, actually,  I want a car in Florida, London and Vienna.

What I find interest about money is

it’s ability to take me to new worlds and meet new people

 

Continue reading “All of Life’s Problems”

Snow in April

This just sums up my year so far, Tales of the Unexpected.

Woke up to snow this morning.

I’d already ditched all my gloves and winter wear thinking it was all over and had to scrabble around for layers of clothing to keep warm.

Day 2 of no PS4

Emotionally unreachable

When a Loved one is in chronic pain the only thing to do is help them with medication.

I’m rubbish at checking my online messages and sometimes go digitally AWOL.  This causes a different kind of pain….Unreachable.

 

Twice as powerful as Codeine

Man down

Plenty of uncertainty in my life over the next 4 weeks so I’ve opted for the unthinkable, PS4 decommissioning.

Parting from my PS4 is such sweet sorry

Yes, no games for the foreseeable future, well at least until I know where I will be sleeping.

I’ll probably be watching lots of Twitch.TV and thankfully Netflix now has a download offline option.

An old source fronted me some money via a proxy to get me out of this jam that I didn’t even cause.  Unfortunately, I don’t have the time or luxury to contemplate the major repercussions from taking the money.

This is just one of those things I’ll be pondering on my death bed staring up at the ceiling waiting for Jesus to take me. And believe me when I say, I’ve looked straight into the eyes of two dying husbands on separate occasions and the same look of regret haunts me till today.

So while I can still care for myself………

Let’s Play the Music and Dance.  (1936 by Irving Berlin)

No meds today 
Last catastrophic event Friday 7-April 08:20
Subject A suffered massive memory loss, chronic paranoia and delusional episodes.

Digital Criminals – How they got caught

I took a quick look at some Computer Misuse Act 1990 cases just trying to find some common denominators.

Where’s my money? Emotionally linked to the crime

Here’s what I noticed

  • High victim volume cases against the perpetrators left little solace or compensation for individual victims
  • Perpetrators had an emotional link to the crime, highly motivated by revenge, response to personal disaster or trauma.
  • Insider threat – abuse of trust cases were high i.e. Police officers doing unauthorised searches, teachers broadcasting false info.

Questions to ponder

What kind of internal controls failed?
Did the perpetrator leave too many digital breadcrumbs and careless whispers because of emotion?
What defences did the perpetrators have? I.e. IDS, logs, VPNs, Encryption
What was the real goal of the crime?
Who were the technical accomplices?
Did they know it was wrong? i.e. linked to Malicious Communications Act 1988