Tomorrow it rained

I worry profusely about everything, sometimes it cripples my ability to actually move forward with thought or actions.

The Walking Dead: Michonne – always worrying

I caught an interesting comment from a linguist stating that Chinese verbs never changes. Present, past or future tense are all the same so a statement like “Tomorrow it rained” is perfected acceptable.

Maybe this can help me get a hold of my anxiety and worry about the future and accept what is unavoidable.

Ok, this week I’m going to have to admit my failings even if those around me do not.

I can walk

I can talk

I have no pains

Thank You

Carrots everywhere

“If then” Rewards are being dangled in front of me like low hanging fruit by the very females who should not do it.

If you do this

Then, you will get this
Waiting for Happiness

It’s really painful especially when you cannot “do” the thing to get the actual reward.

Horizon Zero Dawn™ rewards are plentiful and really enjoyable and some of the rewards are actually reachable, I’ve ranked up to level 15 now.  I’m moving slowing on the main story and trying to do as many side errands as possible whilst exploring every nook and cranny.

Real World Travelling is my thing and when this kind of reward is in my face the anguish makes me sick to my gut.

My 2017 travel plan is defined, clear and realistic. Anything outside that will be automatically blocked and ignored.

Stuck in Limbo

A nice independent title that caught my attention some time ago went on sale for $1.99 so I could hardly give up the chance to dive into Limbo.

Find the way out of LIMBO ™

Pure simplicity is its charm and most of the reviews give it the 4 out of 5 stars. Not bad for a Black and White side-scrolling platform game reminiscent of retro titles.

So far it seems the game is based on Fear.  Angst over isolation, loneliness and the massive uncertainty of what could happen next.

After 5 minutes of playing it has a touch of Unravel ™ where you start to actually care about the fate of your character.

I’ve been stuck in my own personal Limbo for a few years now, not moving forwards or backwards just drifting in-between three worlds.  I’m now forced into taking some uncharacteristic risks.

My name is Very Fucking Confused; what’s your name?

Saw 2004

Alone in the Dark

Alone in the Dark is one of my favourite old school PC games from 1993.

Scaring myself silly till Dawn

Titles like this are truly best when you are alone physically and virtually, lights out with a big screen and good headphone.

I’ve started Survival Horror Until Dawn™ nearly 2 years after it’s initial release.

 

Knowing full well that I would get this title one day I avoided most of the public spoilers and streams but know just enough about the game to have a good first-time experience.

One of it’s most enjoyable features is the Butterfly effect in that all your decisions impact the life or death of game characters.

This is way too close to real life but a great lesson to be learned.

Stop and think, there will be consequences to all your decisions.

Urgent but not Important

I’ve always tried to focus on the important stuff like planning for a child’s birthday or my tax returns.

The struggle is handling things that are just constantly in your face. Mainly other people’s agenda, issues or crisis.

I’m busy….leave me alone

I sit here like a stress sponge constantly soaking up unbearable anxiety and grieve.

For private technical requests, I use a help desk system to ease the stress.

This has the bonus benefit or resolving the issue faster and focuses in on the precise issue. Most times the end-user just wants to vent to a human.

Could I switch career at this stage?  Someone floated the idea to me last week. It’s risky but hard to avoid InfoSec right now and quite frankly I don’t want to do anything else.

My chess game has deteriorated below 800 Elo right now. I simply cannot concentrate.

Booking up London flights for May, June and August in a couple of weeks.

Zombies roaming the UK…really?

A rather unfortunate headline. Usually, when I hear the term zombie I jump to thinking how best to kill them.

From the Evil Dead to The Walking Dead I’ve watched hordes bring butchered for decades and killed countless in Zombie games.

Real life Walking Dead

The drug called Spice is real and deadlier than Cocaine. The users aren’t Zombies but typically homeless people trying to escape homelessness.

If we view them as people we would fight the issue. If we see them as Zombies we will try to figure out how to hide them, get rid of them or ultimately kill them.

I’ve never been homeless but fly way too close to hopelessness.

Hanging on by my weakened spirit at the moment.

No medication for me today.