Tag: weakness

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Decision fatigue and how to fight it

The Top 30 Chat Apps are nothing more than Cocaine for the Brain.  The moment you have the app installed you are pulled to finding out if anyone sent you a message or curious to see what others are talking about.

It’s been going on since school times and you know it.

The kid in the corner with no friends is teased and mocked as is the person you doesn’t use Chat Apps.  Opting out of Apps has become a survivalist thing to help combat my susceptibility to Myasthenia gravis (MG).   There are so many downsides though, lack of friends, people don’t know how to contact you, you are always last to know, conversations are out of sync.

Decision Fatigue

Too many freaking things to work out and do.  I need to keep it simple and clean.

Time wasted

I’m a tech so tend to deep dive into any App setting especially the InfoSec implications.

Stress

If I connect or disconnect from anyone they really take it personally when in fact I’m just not feeling good that day or moment.

Wasting energy

My levels fluctuate unexpectedly and nothing is more draining than checking the phone 100+ times a day for a message that I’m emotionally linked to.

Money money

I try to embrace the same clothes idea just so I don’t have to make decisions on what to wear and it’s so refreshing and automatic.  The downside is that people think you have no clothes or maybe you’re stinky.  Quite frankly, I don’t give a dam.

Too many decisions

No meds today, 1 daytime nap, 1 massive personal argument

Exercised 30 mins, feel physically good today, no cough or infections

To the Bat Cave

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Letting the Body Groove

For the past 2 weeks, I’ve been giving myself excuses for not hitting the gym; a sore throat, calf muscle strain and left shoulder pains.

Ironically, if I’d been hitting the gym routinely I wouldn’t feel so physically crap.  I’m a casual UK Garage follower so doing a quick cardio workout to Architechs’ Body Groove (September 2000) was perfect today.

I’m back in my own personal mental Dojo (道場 dōjō)

No meds today

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Work it Out

A pure upbeat and optimistic rhythm. Given all the crap I’m handling, this is a perfect theme tune for the long weekend.

I’m faced with various degrees of bad and worst decisions as opposed to my normal tactical good or better choices.  I’ve allowed external influences to box me into corners with sheer cliff edges and can only blame myself.

In the meantime, I’m limping like a lame duck with crippling pain in my left lower calf muscles, a physical memory of reaching the Alpl 14, 8671 Alpl, Austria summit last week.

Try not to upset the pile

On the upside, one of my mentees just secured a full-time job.  Feels good to be part of someone’s happiness.

Come, my selector.

“We gonna work it out” Breakwater 1978

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We told you

It’s not so long ago that the IT sector told the world to get connected or cease to exist.

Now we are telling the world that there is no option but to use the Gigaflops of computing power available in Cloud computing.  Everything is now connected to everything and we are finally globally vulnerable with multiple conflicting privacy, data availability and security issues.

Now what?

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I am faking it?

Celebrities get caught on this from time to time and it’s seriously hilarious and sometimes criminal.

You’re in a conference and don’t realize the microphone is broadcasting so you talk freely.  In my case, my phone was on in my pocket so I naturally talked freely about my nearest and dearest.

Tragically, it’s was the root cause of the end of a relationship.  It took 15 mins of loose talk to destroy something that took months to build up.  Losing everything I have for talking carelessly is a  life changing moment, especially considering I usually move cautiously.  Of course, I could blame the technology but was my heart in the right place?

I am sincere or just another two faced liar?  A fraud, a fake….

Your own voice recorded back to you cannot be disputed or defended.  Like your phone records, logs or the millions of data you generated every day.

Right now I feel like a low life so time to go back into my bunker.

P.S. she DELETED me