Tag: weakness

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I miss Chicken

Meal planning is on the list of  ‘things I need to do better’.  Since July 2016, my unbalanced lifestyle has disintegrated into setting for junk food convenience every 48 hours.

My upper body needs lots of work but generally, health is OK.

No aches and pains, no medication and no eyelid weakness…feeling good.  For months I haven’t been able to work Chicken into my meal plans amazingly because of both financial and logistic reasons.

New Chapter

Time for a fresh new cupboard, new kitchen ingredients and proactive meal planning.  Also, it would be good to build up a small wine collection again.

It’s important to me and my well-being.

My wannabe hobbies outside Gaming and Tech

Cooking
Wine collecting
Cologne collecting
Photography
Body toning
Meditation
Spa treatments
Live Jazz and dining out

Things I’d like to learn

How to ride a bike
How to swim properly

Lately, it’s more like I’m just existing rather than living.  Eating to stay alive as opposed to savouring the flavours and textures.

Time to smell the Roses again.  It would be good find a Church I’m comfortable with but that’s a real long shot right now.

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Man down

Plenty of uncertainty in my life over the next 4 weeks so I’ve opted for the unthinkable, PS4 decommissioning.

Parting from my PS4 is such sweet sorry

Yes, no games for the foreseeable future, well at least until I know where I will be sleeping.

I’ll probably be watching lots of Twitch.TV and thankfully Netflix now has a download offline option.

An old source fronted me some money via a proxy to get me out of this jam that I didn’t even cause.  Unfortunately, I don’t have the time or luxury to contemplate the major repercussions from taking the money.

This is just one of those things I’ll be pondering on my death bed staring up at the ceiling waiting for Jesus to take me. And believe me when I say, I’ve looked straight into the eyes of two dying husbands on separate occasions and the same look of regret haunts me till today.

So while I can still care for myself………

Let’s Play the Music and Dance.  (1936 by Irving Berlin)

No meds today 
Last catastrophic event Friday 7-April 08:20
Subject A suffered massive memory loss, chronic paranoia and delusional episodes.

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Digital Criminals – How they got caught

I took a quick look at some Computer Misuse Act 1990 cases just trying to find some common denominators.

Where’s my money? Emotionally linked to the crime

Here’s what I noticed

  • High victim volume cases against the perpetrators left little solace or compensation for individual victims
  • Perpetrators had an emotional link to the crime, highly motivated by revenge, response to personal disaster or trauma.
  • Insider threat – abuse of trust cases were high i.e. Police officers doing unauthorised searches, teachers broadcasting false info.

Questions to ponder

What kind of internal controls failed?
Did the perpetrator leave too many digital breadcrumbs and careless whispers because of emotion?
What defences did the perpetrators have? I.e. IDS, logs, VPNs, Encryption
What was the real goal of the crime?
Who were the technical accomplices?
Did they know it was wrong? i.e. linked to Malicious Communications Act 1988

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First rule about Mental Health

Rule 1. Don’t talk about mental health, especially when it’s someone you know personally.

Rule 2. Never talk about Mental Health – It stirs up feelings of resentment, anger, guilt and helplessness towards the person who is ill.

Rule 3. Review Rule 1

It sucks but talking about someone’s fragile state of minds is a scary topic.  I am totally unequipped to handle it when someone freaks out on me and starts acting “weird”.

There’s an overwhelming feeling of self-preservation that sweeps over me, almost like I think the person’s corrupted mental state is contagious.

My initial instinct is to run away,  throw up a drone and snip them from a distance.  Unfortunately, tactical moves from Ghost Recon® Wildlands will not work here.

Rule 1. Don’t talk about it?

How does one handle someone showing signs of massive memory loss, chronic paranoia, irrational thoughts and threats to self?

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How you got Hacked…..and why

In the past,  I’ve spent hours on the phone trying to show someone how to configure an email client.

Small business put up little fight hackers and snoopers.

Normally intelligent individuals suddenly become dummies when faced with anything “technical”.

Individuals are routinely breached because they are either

Too busy to care about basic hygiene (tech bits)

Have no password management skills

Have no trusted technical support partner

Do not monitor their set-up

…or most importantly, not bothered.

These same individuals take extreme cause with their daily online banking.

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Tomorrow it rained

I worry profusely about everything, sometimes it cripples my ability to actually move forward with thought or actions.

The Walking Dead: Michonne – always worrying

I caught an interesting comment from a linguist stating that Chinese verbs never changes. Present, past or future tense are all the same so a statement like “Tomorrow it rained” is perfected acceptable.

Maybe this can help me get a hold of my anxiety and worry about the future and accept what is unavoidable.

Ok, this week I’m going to have to admit my failings even if those around me do not.

I can walk

I can talk

I have no pains

Thank You