I promptly starting preparing for the Monday morning blitz on my senses. I found myself delaying the morning commute and slowing packing my mobile office for relocation but wait….it’ Sunday. I haven’t spoken to a real-life person in 48 hours and the curtains have been drawn throwing out my perception of time.
My devices confirm, Yes, it is Sunday but I’m dreading Monday. Dreading having to see people, talk, explain, attend meetings, reason and give my opinion on anything. Second-hand bereavement, like group bereavement, is a stealth problem that creeps up on you. When Timothy Hampton died, 1 day before my birthday, I was sent into a downward swirl of unjustified grief. I had so many reasons to be happy yet this unexplained tragic death forced me to deny my very existence.
Almost 9 years later the overwhelming emotions of second-hand loss are here again. It’s like I don’t deserve to be sad, after all it wasn’t my Loved One, yet the feeling is here as real as anything and nobody knows it but me.
I found a few opinions on the stages of bereavement so hope I can fast track to Acceptance and hope soon.
Absolute denial Pain & guilt Anger & bargaining "depression", reflection, loneliness Turning point – Clearing out Reconstructing your Life Acceptance & hope
Today is Sunday