Month: June 2019

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Binary decisions

Sometimes hard decisions are simply a case of On or Off.

After a Division 2 weekend binge of Level 4 Control Points, Invasion missions and a Hunter mask, I decided to just delete the game from my primary PS4 and jump into the FarCry New Dawn World.  I grabbed the financial bait, a whopping 67% off the list price and the offline, story driven nature of the game.

Don’t get me wrong, deleting the 97+GB of Division 2 was rough especially knowing how much time it will take to re-install but the Raids did not justify the potential time investment. Also, one of my long term fellow gamers became totally obsessed with my skin colour breaking the relatively anonymous nature of online multiplayer games.

Tom Clancy’s The Division 2 – Final mission for now
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My personal Mean time to recovery (MTTR)

Having an episode triggered by a simple argument is horrendous for the average Myasthenia Gravis sufferer.  The spike in stress levels become physically real but invisible to most.  In my case, I tend to implode for fear of becoming a bore to friends or family like the person who constantly catches the common cold.

Recover time is slow but steady without take any medication.

Yesterday’s recover time was around 4 hours from Anger /Rage spike followed by extreme weakness then procrastination, ignoring my status and feelings with wishful thinking.  Eventually, I become self-aware again and simply sleep for 3 hours or so waking up somewhat revived.  Problem is that this can be right in the midst of the working day or week.

For me, conflict avoidance is a successful method but sometimes like the sweet, sweet Honey Bee the price of stinging somebody is pretty high.

Tom Clancy’s The Division 2 – Just leave me alone
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I hate you so much right now

Advanced persistent threats are one of the most draining of attacks.  The fear factor is high and constant, grinding down the target for a prolonged period.

At this moment in time I am resilient, but the emotion burden is heavy and has a really negative impact on other activities triggering procrastination, rage, thoughts of retaliation and ultimately retribution.

I find myself looking for a source of solace. DENIED

One of the most frustrating screens