Category: Manhood

It’s a man world

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Love dependency

Any addiction is usually not a good thing.  I’ve always known that I’m actually addicted to being in Love.

The problem, like all addiction, is that going cold turkey is painfully and long lasting.  I woke up this morning still in Love but unable to contact the object of my passion.

I need a fix badly.

Wondering around the snow covered mountains in Horizon Zero Dawn brought some comfort and I discovered a few interesting side missions while harvesting 2 nice collectibles.  The view up here is tranquil and exhilarating coming down on the zip wire.

I wanted to call her this morning to beg for one more chance but pride stopped me.  I don’t believe I deserve another chance.  Maybe it’s just better to let her go rather than risk causing more damage and destroying the good memories.

All data including pictures are now safely archived.

I can’t get the Manhattans 1976 track out of my head

Many months have passed us by
I'm gonna miss you I can't lie
I've got ties and so do you
I just think this is the thing to do
It's gonna hurt me I can't lie
Maybe you'll meet another guy
Understand me won't you try, try, try
Let's just kiss and say goodbye

 

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I am faking it?

Celebrities get caught on this from time to time and it’s seriously hilarious and sometimes criminal.

You’re in a conference and don’t realize the microphone is broadcasting so you talk freely.  In my case, my phone was on in my pocket so I naturally talked freely about my nearest and dearest.

Tragically, it’s was the root cause of the end of a relationship.  It took 15 mins of loose talk to destroy something that took months to build up.  Losing everything I have for talking carelessly is a  life changing moment, especially considering I usually move cautiously.  Of course, I could blame the technology but was my heart in the right place?

I am sincere or just another two faced liar?  A fraud, a fake….

Your own voice recorded back to you cannot be disputed or defended.  Like your phone records, logs or the millions of data you generated every day.

Right now I feel like a low life so time to go back into my bunker.

P.S. she DELETED me

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I miss Chicken

Meal planning is on the list of  ‘things I need to do better’.  Since July 2016, my unbalanced lifestyle has disintegrated into setting for junk food convenience every 48 hours.

My upper body needs lots of work but generally, health is OK.

No aches and pains, no medication and no eyelid weakness…feeling good.  For months I haven’t been able to work Chicken into my meal plans amazingly because of both financial and logistic reasons.

New Chapter

Time for a fresh new cupboard, new kitchen ingredients and proactive meal planning.  Also, it would be good to build up a small wine collection again.

It’s important to me and my well-being.

My wannabe hobbies outside Gaming and Tech

Cooking
Wine collecting
Cologne collecting
Photography
Body toning
Meditation
Spa treatments
Live Jazz and dining out

Things I’d like to learn

How to ride a bike
How to swim properly

Lately, it’s more like I’m just existing rather than living.  Eating to stay alive as opposed to savouring the flavours and textures.

Time to smell the Roses again.  It would be good find a Church I’m comfortable with but that’s a real long shot right now.

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An engineering approach to Winter

I handled this Winter season badly this year, took too much for granted and romanced past good years.

A mix of poor wardrobe storage, low-cost old clothing and a massive lack of inspiration. This triggered a pretty continuous wave of low-level depression.

No car meant I had no personal winter travel bubble with my Jazz, was seriously limited to public transportation routes and always exposed to the elements.

Uncertain living conditions meant I was never truly confident with buying anything major as I may have to up sticks and move.

Not gonna reply on sentimental data

So I am determined to make 2018 Winter Season a happier one.

More of London, more Florida.

This is all gonna take more resources mainly time and money.

Continue reading “An engineering approach to Winter”

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The Cancer Car

Borrowed a friend’s car today and got a little taste of what life used to be like.

The freedom of the road is unparalleled, this little bubble of metal on wheels gives you power and control over self and space to think.

Anyhow, it was just for a few hours but tasty.

The owner is a smoker so it was like driving an ashtray….my eyes, mouth and lungs were crying out for fresh air.

Amazing how smokers are immune to this side effect.  I think I murdered half my taste buds just by sitting in the Cancer Car.

120mg today