{"id":3615,"date":"2017-11-29T11:07:25","date_gmt":"2017-11-29T11:07:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/clickonyx.co.uk\/?p=3615"},"modified":"2017-11-29T11:11:17","modified_gmt":"2017-11-29T11:11:17","slug":"ebenezers-guide-to-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/clickonyx.co.uk\/?p=3615","title":{"rendered":"Ebenezer\u2019s guide to Christmas"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>What do you want?<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve spent over 2 hours trawling one of the biggest shopping websites in the world and I still can\u2019t find something I actually want.\u00a0 Bah humbug to it all.\u00a0 Why do I have to force feed myself reasons to be jolly anyhow?<\/p>\n<p>What\u2019s really important is being around people who actually care about my existence.\u00a0 Besides, the things that give me a real buzz cannot be bought with a civilian security clearance or are too elite to be on any retail shopping outlet.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_2792\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-2792\" style=\"width: 525px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-large wp-image-2792\" src=\"https:\/\/clickonyx.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/beach-1102692_1920-1024x702.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"525\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https:\/\/clickonyx.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/beach-1102692_1920-1024x702.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/clickonyx.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/beach-1102692_1920-300x206.jpg 300w, https:\/\/clickonyx.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/beach-1102692_1920-768x527.jpg 768w, https:\/\/clickonyx.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/beach-1102692_1920.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 525px) 100vw, 525px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-2792\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">December 25th, 2017 Daytona Beach (destination not reached)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h4>7 ways to sidestep Santa mayhem \u2013 online and offline<\/h4>\n<pre>Give small but niche token gifts\r\nUse a daily cash envelope system\r\nUse Load-up cards only\r\nCarry a food flask so you don\u2019t eat too much\r\nTalk and Dream about Summer 2018 holidays\r\nGrab the designated driver card to avoid drinking\r\nDowngrade to a \u201cdumb\u201d phone\u2026Text and Talk only<\/pre>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><strong>Run out of Pyridostigmine<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What do you want?\u00a0 I\u2019ve spent over 2 hours trawling one of the biggest shopping websites in the world and I still can\u2019t find something I actually want.\u00a0 Bah humbug to it all.\u00a0 Why do I have to force feed myself reasons to be jolly anyhow? What\u2019s really important is being around people who actually &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/clickonyx.co.uk\/?p=3615\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Ebenezer\u2019s guide to Christmas&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[60,57],"tags":[91,76,94,71],"class_list":["post-3615","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-manhood","category-myasthenia_gravis","tag-fools-gold","tag-lucky","tag-money-and-power","tag-weakness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/clickonyx.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3615","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/clickonyx.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/clickonyx.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/clickonyx.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/clickonyx.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3615"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/clickonyx.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3615\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3618,"href":"https:\/\/clickonyx.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3615\/revisions\/3618"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/clickonyx.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3615"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/clickonyx.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3615"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/clickonyx.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3615"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}